I signed up for this “FUN” activity (Snorkeling and Island Hopping in Boracay) thru the tour operator called ALLAN B FUN TOURS.
Im telling you…..its not fun at all. That is if we have the same definition of FUN. But, for sure, we both know exactly know what FUN is and what / how it should be. This tour operator mislead people and they distribute fliers almost in every guesthouses and hotels in Boracay. In these fliers, there go their false advertisement.
Below is their advertisement—the ones in red bold letter; and the ones in black italics are mine.
allan b fun tour
(Below this, they wrote their contact numbers and email addy but I dont want to write it down here because I dont advocate FALSE / MISLEADING ADVERTISING!
Includes: Mask and snorkel
If its your first time to snorkel and you dont know how to swim, you might think these two are all you need, but NO!
You need fins, too. Youre gonna rent it from them for PHP150. I have no problem with this, but for some who came in my boat, they were murmuring because they didn’t bring any money. All they know is that….they’re going to snorkel. Should one bring money to feed the fish?
I rented one though. Even when I snorkeled in Phuket, Thailand, these stuff are to be rented. I only brought PHP200 with me.
I got PHP50 left.
Food: chicken, pork bbq, grilled fish, garlic shrimps, vegetable salad, stir-fried vegetable, bread, rice and fruits in season.
Drinks: beer, coke, sprite, orange, mineral water.
It’s an ok food. The vegetable tasted like it’s been there waiting for us for five hours.
I didn’t pay for this price. Someone at my guesthouse said it’s only PHP600. Its a cheap deal isnt it?
Plus a lot of fun.
Fun? Hmmmnn… what are you thinking?
For sure, this makes you think that you’re gonna have a really good day, right?
Read on and see if it’s fun.
First of all, we left at 10:20 in the morning, instead of 10:00. Who cares? This is what Filipino time is.
Then, we sailed on from Station 3 shore for less than 10 minutes to snorkel somewhere. It’s actually not far from the beach itself. When the motorized boat stopped, everyone was excited seeing the water so crystal clear. I was excited, too. I enjoyed my snorkeling in Phuket, so, I thought this is going to be much better.
Everyone excitedly wore their snorkeling masks, fins, and snorkel while I was busy applying sun protection lotion all over my face and body. I took off my shorts—-but not my swimming trunks. :))
Then….. I was SOOOOOOO DISAPPOINTED.
The corals were dead. Lifeless. There were only so little fish in there. So little and they’re tiny too.
Before we dove, our “tour guide” told us the length of time to stay and to PAY PHP20 for environmental fee.
What the fuck is environmental fee?
You pay for using the environment? For fuck’s sake we visit this island and we bring money to this island and it’s people and you let us pay such cheaaappppp amount?
Where the hell on earth you pay for using the environment? I reckon, only in the Philippines! It’s definitely not fun in the Philippines!
And where does this money go? Pfffttttt…… we all know where. Bloody politicians!
I also paid this fee when I arrived at Caticlan airport. It’s my first time to hear such and it really bothered me. It’s NOT just right.
Whoever authored a city bill / ordinance for this is such a first class asshole.
So, now, I’m down to PHP30 in my pocket.
Before we went on to our first island, we went back to the shore where we came from—to pick up two guests who were late. How nice of them!
However, it’s an annoying thing to pick them up without telling the rest of the passengers! That’s fucking inconsiderate to us! There were caucasians on board and we should show them that, we, Filipinos value time and we are considerate to other people’s time and feelings.
As we were approaching, our tour guide told us the name of the island and…. tadaaaa….. to pay PHP200 for the entrance fee!
We all looked at each other as if to say, WTF?
This is a SCAM! Big time.
Nobody told us to pay such! They only told us even before we boarded the boat that we were going to snorkel and go island hopping. But, fees? No, they NEVER told us.
This, for sure, is a hidden fee.
I asked them why should we pay such—and they said that it’s a private property so, we have to pay. It’s owned by a certain army Colonel. His last name slipped off my mind.
Wow, that Colonel owns an island? Bill Gates doesn’t have one!
So, I just stayed outside the gate and did my usual camwhoring. When the French couple sitting next to me came back from inside, they told me what they saw.
“There are two caves. One is great and the other one was crap. The view is just like any other sea view and it’s ok. But, PHP200, though cheap, is not worth it.”
I smiled and they asked me why I didn’t go inside. I told them about my “financial crisis”. Like me, they, too, were baffled about this constant asking of money to pay this and that—without telling everyone before boarding.
“We are glad you said that because we were thinking that we were alone in thinking about this thing,” the girl said.
In an instant, I just blurted out, “Welcome to the Philippines!”
We all three shared a laugh Monalisa doesn’t even know.
After our lunch at the coastal BarangayTambi-saan, we headed to Puka Beach. The guide said that there are many shells in the island. But, no alas, I didn’t find a whole one. I found hundreds of broken shells. Not cool.
However, the sand quality, the beach and the quietness of the place is magnificent. There are no annoying whores and peddlers here nor resorts and business establishments. It’s just YOU and the sea. Well, of course, the other few tourists in your boat.
I took my time relaxing under the a hut. Good thing was, nobody came to collect fee for using it. After an hour, we sailed off back to Station 3.
We passed by Shangrila Boracay which reminded me of the wondrous Mediterenean houses and hotels overlooking the sea. We all wished we could stay there even for a night. 🙂
Reading all this review, is this “plus a lot of fun” to you?
Or just a plain SCAM?
Or a JOKE?