2009 Great Wall Beach Party

Its my fourth time in a row.

The first Great Wall Party was in Jinshanling Great Wall. We were literally dancing on the steps of the newly-renovated Great Wall back in 2005!

YEN, the ultimate party master, organized the event.

And they called it: YEN ON THE WALL!

We’ll take you from ancient to modern China!

Great Wall Beach Party 2009.

The first Great Wall Beach Party.

A day after that first Great Wall debauchery, a lot of of Chinese media portrayed that event as “bastardizing the national symbol.” Internet forums were full of angry netizens calling the laowais as disrecpectful.

And not only that, an English newspaper published a picture of a foreign guy proudly urinating on the Wall on a beautiful Sunday morning.

And worst of all, the Great Wall was littered with all sorts of trash, including used condoms. 🙂

I should know.

On the night of that partay, we (J and I) heared voices when we went up looking for our spot in the dark corner of the Wall. Hahahaha!!!

It was history. That was the first and the last one of its kind!

And Im proud I was there!

We’ll take you from ancient to modern China!


Two years later, the Great Wall Beach Party came into existence in Shanhaiguan.

This is the part where the Geat Wall begins. They also call it as the “Old Dragons Head.”

And yes, this is is also the ONLY part of the grand monument which extends to the sea.

I was there on its first but lost my camera. Being a cam whore, losing a camera is HUGEEEE deal.

As much as I want to enjoy, my mood was already ruined. And the rest of the night was just blurred to me.

This was the partay that I promised NOT to touch Long Island Iced Tea again.

Nevah. Ever.


Though it rained in the early hours of the morning, that was actually the BEST part of the party. It was super fun. Nobody can stop the crazy crowd as they wet themselves through the raging rain.

It was literally raining MEN! And boy, I forgot feeding my grumbling stomach seeing all the wild boys in front of me!

Great Wall Beach Party 2009.

Great Wall Beach Party 2009.

The huge crowd was uncontrollable even the party organizer decided to stop the music for a while for fear of electrocution and damage to their equipment.

The crowd went on singing whatever comes to their drunken mind, including the “Yellow Submarine.”

Thrity minutes later, the party was back and the party animals just cant get enough. The crazy, infectious vibe continued till the morning sun showed up and till the DJ played his last piece.


Last Saturday, while America was celebrating its Independence Day (July 4), sixteen of us happily took over the bus back seats and made sure that our stuff (read: alcohol) were within our reach so we could be ourselves and party ahead.

Great Wall Beach Party 2009.

Great Wall Beach Party 2009.

As soon as the bus started its engine, the noise barrage began.

And the drinking spree, too.

When I say drinking spree, I mean alcohol.

When I say alcohol, I mean liquor that would shatter your world and cause death to your brain cells.

Ok, not all.

Someone opened a Breezer as starter but ended up with a strong Chinese wine (whatevers the name).

I had half bottle of a Chilean white wine which I gulped down with class and style. Duh.

I tried other drinks, too, but who knows the name. I just swallowed whatever was passed on to me.

Great Wall Beach Party

Great Wall Beach Party 2009.

For Four hours and a half and I couldnt remember we had a moment of silence. For sure, the other passengers were pissed off, some were just chatting mundane things, few were eavesdropping to our loud conversations (with matching secret photographing) and a few were on their MP3.

It was fun when everybody talked in different languages and all laugh at the same time without knowing what the joke was.

Thats the beauty of intoxicants. Alls fair. And it makes wonders.

In vino veritas, as they say.

Great Wall Beach Party

Great Wall Beach Party

I was trying to fall asleep on the first hour of the trip and behaved prim and proper.

But,  how could I slumber when everybodys vocal aperture were as loud as an armalite in war?

So, I decided to join the agog and conducted the singing of Americas National Anthem to boost Americas ego to imperialism. Hahahahahahaha….

Ok, I didnt conduct, I just said, “Allelujah” at the end. :))

It was amazing how the non-Americans sing the anthem with feelings, pride and finesse. The drunk voice added to the appeal of the meaning of the song.

That was, perhaps, the main higlight of the bus ride.

Great Wall Beach Party

Great Wall Beach Party

Our bus stopped in the middle of nowhere for our bathroom break. Literally, everyone went out for the bathroom with a side trip to a grocery store nearby.

Everybody was looking for the booze but ONLY ONE got the last Tsingtao beer can in the refrigerator.

And that lucky one was Anatole.

Its no surprise though. Hes French. Hahahahaha…

The others were just contented with softdrinks and coffee / latte in cans. But, it didnt mean we suffered from alcohol-anemia.

No. No way.

More bottles were actually opened when we got back into the bus and paper cups were passed on again.

Then, our little partay continued.

Great Wall Beach Party

Great Wall Beach Party

Until….. some boys and girls hit bottom—controlling their urge to pee.

They asked the driver to stop the bus somewhere but their requests fell into deaf ears.

Thanks God for empty bottles. They served its purpose. :((

And the roar of laughters were unstoppable.

Good job, boys!

Thirty minutes to the party venue, the bus driver decided to finally stop to accommodate everyone in control of their ordure.

They skillfully hide on the green bushes and when they emerged, they were like soldiers who just won the battle.

Few minutes later, we saw the beach from afar and the excitement surged high up to heavens door.

Everyone came out of the bus drunk but with such poise and energy.

We exactly arrived at 7:00 pm and the loud music was already blasting in full force.


After cam whoring and getting our feet used to the sand, we entered the party venue at 8:00 p.m.

WE WERE the first people who frolicked like nobodys watching. It felt so free to be dancing in a huge sandy beach with no others to bump around. We literally flew our arms and legs into the air.

And yes, I did my signature monkey dance.

Again. Yes, again! :))

Then, a slender figure came up to me and asked if I were Alain.

Without battling an eyelash, I said, “Yes, dahling!”

Shes a fan. 🙂

As the night turned deep dark and the people started to show up drunk, the level of excitement is also swelling.

Then, languidly, boys and girls started to show some flesh to feel the vibe and essence of the debauchery in the beach.

Ah, my world stopped everytime my eyes caught a hot stuff cavorting with the music and oblivious to my stares.

I didnt seem to run out of drink that night.

Someone must have passed me a glass everytime I need a refill. I reckon, theyre from my students. The said they have never seen me drunk and they want to see me wasted.

And I didnt fail them.

I showed them how to party like an animal, as opposed to KTV gatherings, which is, for them, synonymous to fun-filled party.

Before they went home at 2:00 a.m., they asked me when is the next party like this. They couldnt believe how many Caucasians showed and to their words, “Its our first time to see so many white people and dancing among them. Its fabulous!”

Aha! Theyre using the word fabulous I taught them!

Halfway to the party, my friends were gone until I found them at the edge of the Great Wall—night swimming.

Or rather camwhoring. They just got themselves wet so they could take pictures of themselves in their skimpy bikini.

And they raped me—by making me wet.


Great Wall Beach Party 2009 from wideye shut on Vimeo.

Then, theres the story of a gin (or was it vodka?). Somebody stole it from somewhere successfully and whoever you are, hats off to you, dahlin!

You deserve a blow job. A good one. Hahahahahahaha!!!

We all went back to where the party was and there I found a familiar face.

He came up to me and we chatted a bit.

Danced a bit.

Drank a bit.

Stared a bit.

Held hands a bit.

And we decided to go out—away from the madding crowd.

And the rest was history, as they say.

When we went back, the second batch of buses already came and the crowd was getting wilder, crazier and noisier.

Then, rain came but the crowd was unmoved. It was just a drizzle for a couple of minutes. It was not enough to get us wet.

As the partay progressed, my level of sanity went down.

To hide my drunkeness, I danced, hopped with fellow couchsurfers until my fragile body cant it anymore.

I just went blank and rested on the sand.

Slept a bit for 30 minutes and was awoken by the sound of drunk people passing me.

It was already 3:30 a.m., so I decided to call it “quit.”

I looked for my couchsurfer and dragged him to the bus parking lot.

Great Wall Beach Party

Great Wall Beach Party.

We need to be in Beijing early because we still have a shooting to finish with the French TV on that day.

At 4:15 a.m., our bus left Shanhaiguan and the people were still there dancing in an early daylight.

The bus was sooooo quiet as if to mourn the loss of Michael Jackson.

We were all dead tired and dead to the world.

Four hours later, Beijing welcomed us with a real gray morning sky.

No surprise, of course.

This might be my last Great Wall party ever and my next summers will never be the same without this rave.

We’ll take you from ancient to modern China!


  • dah’ling the best farewell party ever!!!!beijing and cummwhoring is so going to miss you…i will miss you so much,but wait for me in autumn in beijing…i am going to make you faimous in romania!!!

  • Sounds like a blast! My fav part is you all drinking on the bus 😀
    And I hate myself more for missing it…. next year!!!!!

  • Sounds like a blast! My fav part is you all drinking on the bus 😀
    And I hate myself more for missing it…. next year!!!!!

  • Leave a reply